Secert Love

Ichimaru pushed open the 10th division captain’s office door a bit and peeked inside. He saw the boy at the desk and smiled. “Good morning Toshirou.” He said.

Hitsugaya jumped slightly and looked at Ichimaru. “Ichimaru-Taichou, what are you doing here?” he asked dully as he went back to what he was doing.

“Well, I needed a dancing partner.” He said.

“Well I don’t know where Matsumoto is.” He said as he put the paper he was working on in the done pile and picked up another one. He dipped in ink brush into the well then went back to writing.

“No no silly! I meant ya!”

Hitsugaya’s eyes widen and he stopped what he was doing. He looked up at the other “What?” “Wait, what did he just saying? A dancing partner? And he wants to dance with me? What the hell is going on? He wouldn’t look at me twice or even show any interest in me before. Why is he asking me to dance with him? I think he might be drunk…” he thought.

Ichimaru nodded “I want ya to dance with me.” He told him has he closed the doors and walked to the boy’s desk. He sat on it. He crossed his legs and leaned back on his propped up arms. He tilted his head and smiled. “What do ya say?” he asked.

Hitsugaya stared at him then shook his head “I have no time for dancing Ichimaru-Taichou.” he stood up “Now if you excuse me, I have somewhere I need to be.” He walked around the desk and started toward the door.

“But Toshirou, why not?” he asked.

Hitsugaya jumped when he heard the other’s voice close to him. He turned around only for his hand to be taken in the older man’s and spun in a circle. Hitsugaya stumbled a bit. Then Ichimaru took the boy’s other hand and started to dance around the large room with the boy. Hitsugaya stumbled all over the place “H-hey! Stop that!”

Ichimaru stopped and knelt down, not letting the boy’s hands go “Do ya know how to dance?” he asked.

Hitsugaya looked at him “O-of course I do!”

“Then why are you stumbling all over the place?”

Hitsugaya looked down and away. He was quiet and he blushed slightly “Ok fine! I don’t know how to dance!”

Ichimaru smiled “That’s alright, just stand on my feet.” He told him as he stood up. He entwined his fingers with the boy’s as he did.

Hitsugaya looked up at him “I don’t want to dance with you Ichimaru-Taichou now let go of me!” he shouted.

Ichimaru just smiled and spun the boy around in a circle as he started to dance again. Hitsugaya’s eyes widen and he quickly put his feet on the other’s. This let Ichimaru free dance around the room. After a while, Ichimaru let go of Hitsugaya’s hand and put it around his waist so he could dug him. Hitsugaya quickly put his hand on the other man’s bicep and blushed as Ichimaru’s face came inches away from his.

“G-Gin…” Hitsugaya whispered as his eye widened.

Ichimaru tilted his head and smiled.

Then there was a knock on the door and Momo walked in. “Shiro-chan~!” but she stopped and her eyes widened. Ichimaru glanced at her and glared. Hitsugaya looked at her “M-Momo!” he shouted as he blushed a bit more.

Then Ichimaru forced a fake smile “Hello Momo.”

Momo returned the glare to Ichimaru “Ichimaru what are you doing to Shiro-chan?” she asked sharply.

Ichimaru stood up straight then spun Hitsugaya again. He caught his hand “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m dancing with him.”  He said in a sweet voice which just made Momo even madder.

Hitsugaya saw the sparks fly in Momo’s eyes “Momo, Ichimaru is a captain, you will treat him like one.” Then he looked up at Ichimaru “I danced with you. Please let me go.”

Ichimaru nodded and let the boy go. Hitsugaya brushed off his clothes and crossed his arms. He glanced at Momo only to see the sparks still in her eyes. “Momo,” He said firmly “stop it.”

Momo looked at Hitsugaya with a slightly sad face. This made Ichimaru smirk.

Momo started to pout in what she thought was a cute way. She ran to the boy and hugged him “But Shiro-chan!”

Hitsugaya glares at her as he stumbled a bit “Ack! Momo get off of me!!”

Ichimaru tried his hardest to keep the smile on his face. Key word was ‘hardest’. He hated how Momo tried to act cute just to get attention from everyone. He really just wanted to thrust his sword down her throat… He then smirked and sat down on the arm rest of the couch. He crossed his legs and put his hands on it. “Aizen-Taichou sent ya didn’t he, Momo?” he asked.

Momo looked “What?”

Ichimaru chuckled and shook his head slightly “That cruel man… sometimes I wonder why I became his vice-captain… All those cruel things he did just to get a laugh.” He looked back at Momo “I have an order for you Momo, and ya better follow it out. I want ya to go back to Aizen and I want ya to tell his he’s a pansy for me.” He tilted his head and smiled innocently “Okie dokie~?”

Momo’s eyes widened “What?! I will do no such thing!! My captain is not a pansy!”

Ichimaru chuckled “Oh I beg to differ there… Ya have no idea what kind of an ass he is. And I heard that if someone hangs around an ass too long, that they too become like that person.”

“That’s enough, Ichimaru-Taichou!!” Hitsugaya shouted at him.

Ichimaru’s smirk quickly disappeared and shock played on his face. He had totally forgot that the boy was standing right there. His heart sunk and he looked at Toshirou.

“I want you to get out of my office right now!!” Hitsugaya barked at him.

Ichimaru put up a hand “But Toshirou-…”

“It’s Hitsugaya-Taichou!! Now GET OUT YOU MONSTER!!!” he shouted.

Ichimaru jumped and sadness appeared on his face. He put his finger tips to his lips. “M-monster…?” he said just over a whisper. What had he done…?
“OUT!!” Hitsugaya shouted once more Ichimaru jumped again. Then his lowered his head so that to other two could not see his eyes then he Shunpo’d away.
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Ichimaru sat alone on the roof of his division with his knees to his chest. He hugged them and hid half his face in them. It was now night time and only the moon would be with Ichimaru other than his Zanpakutou.

“I just… I just don’t understand… What did I do to get yelled at?” he asked himself quietly. “I’m not going to say I’m sorry, because I’m not. Not to Momo at least… I can’t go back there… I won’t go back there. I will never look at him again. If he talks to me, I will ignore him. This is what I will do. But…” he looked down at Shinso who was laying next to him. “But I want to… I want to tell him. I’ll tell him not with a voice, but with a piece of paper and a brush. A letter.” He said. “This is what I will do. Maybe if I just… if I just tell him maybe my heart will not weep so much.”
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Hitsugaya walked into his quarters and sighed. He did not bother to turn on the lights as he walked thru the door. He just walked to his bed and laying down. He sighed once more and closed his eyes. But then something gently touched his cheek and his eyes shot open. He sat up fast and looked around. He saw no one. Then he looked down at his lap to see a piece of paper in a shiny envelope. He tilted his head and picked it up. Once he was done looking it over, he opened it. He read aloud:

“A bird cannot fly if its wings are clipped. It cannot fly with the one it loves.
So what does it do?

He limps along the ground wondering where everyone has gone. All its loved ones. The one that it swear to always be with for as long as it lives.

But its wings are clipped. By whom you ask? By the one that it cherished so.

The one that filled its heart with nothing but joy, happiness, love, warmth…

This bird will die soon and it will die by its own hands. If this bird cannot be with you, Toshirou Hitsugaya, then this bird is no long aloud to be alive. No long aloud to walk the Earth.

But you don’t care. No. You do not care. After all,

You cut my wings so now I limp, with a broken heart, and a broken soul.

For now and forever, I will love you. For now and forever, I will care for you. For now… and forever… I will no longer see you…

Toshirou… Hitsugaya…”

Hitsugaya’s eyes widen and he felt his heart sink. “Oh my gosh… who wrote this?” he looked at the back of the letter then at the envelope. He saw nothing. Then he looked back in the envelope and found a feather. It was silverish and it had a very light tint of purple to it. Hitsugaya tilted his head slightly “What the… a feather?” then he looked back at the letter.

“A feather and a poem about a bird… very clever but… who wrote it?” he said to himself. He looked out his window and saw a flock of bird fly up into the sky. He stood up and put his hand on the sill. He watched them as the spun together in the sky then they flu toward the full moon. But one stayed behind. It sat on a branch and watched the others then looked down.

Hitsugaya gazed at it then opened the window. He put his hand out the window and made a light whistle sound. The bird looked at him then flew to his hand. Hitsugaya slowly brought it to him and he gently stroked its back. “I clipped this person’s wings? What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked himself as he watched the bird puff up a bit. It made soft sounds as Toshirou’s finger tips brushed its surface.

Then Hitsugaya looked at it “Why would I clip someone’s wings?”
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Ichimaru sat on the roof top of Hitsugaya’s quarters and hugged his knees as he listened to the boy sleep. “I did it Shinso. I gave him the letter. I told him I loved him. I said that I would never see him again, that I would look away. I know I’m acting like a kid. I know that I’m probably not going to follow thru with his. I love him too much to be doing this but… he doesn’t love me… A monster… he called me a monster… Am I nothing more than that? A monster cannot love. I suppose I couldn’t really love him. Ya could just be toying with me again Shinso and make me feel like I love him. I hate it when ya play such cruel jokes on me, just to see me suffer… Isn’t it enough that I would have to never anyways? Ya know, I think that maybe before I leave I’ll leave him a couple. Just a couple letters. Maybe that’ll make him happy…”

He looked up at the moon and opened his eyes, letting the tears in his eyes fall. He looked down then quietly stood up. He floated to the ground then jumped to the window sill. He looked inside at the sleeping child. He smiled a bit. Then he jumped inside without and landed without a sound. He turned around and knelt beside the other. He gently ran the back of his fingers on the Toshirou’s cheek then kissed his forehead. He gently layed his forehead on the boy’s “I love ya, Toshirou…” he whispered as a tear fell from his cheek to Hitsugaya’s.

Hitsugaya shifted his weight and mumbled a bit “Momo…”

Ichimaru’s eyes watered more and he squeezed them shut then he quickly Shunpo’d away.

“… I hate your guts…” Hitsugaya finished.
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Hitsugaya sat in his office and held the letter in both hands. This had to be the 4th time he heard this piece of paper over again. But he wanted to know who it was that wrote him such a beautiful love poem.

Then Matsumoto walked in and he sat on the couch “Good after taichou~!” then she saw the piece of paper “Oh? What’s that?” she asked.

Hitsugaya put it back in the envelope then put in his top. “It’s nothing that you need to worry about.” He told her as he stood up.

Matsumoto pouted slightly “Taichou~ you never share anything with me~! I think you just need to let out all those emotions you got bottled up inside that tiny-…” Hitsugaya glared at her “I mean bottled up inside that big strong man of a body you have!!” Matsumoto quickly fixed.

Hitsugaya sighed and looked away. “I’ll be back.” Then he quickly Shunpo’d to the 13th division.
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He knocked on Ukitake’s office door then bit his lip.

“Come in!” he heard.

Toshirou took a deep breath then opened the door and walked inside.

Ukitake was sitting on his desk reading a green colored box. He looked up and smiled “Oh, hello Toshirou! Long time no see? Well, at least not in my office. Oh, heh listen to me. What can I do for you?” he asked as he put a piece of paper in the book and closed it. He set it down and entwined his fingers together then put them on his knee after he crossed him.

Hitsugaya closed the door behind him and leaned on it. He looked down at the ground “Um… I came to ask you something…” he said quietly.

Ukitake’s smile disappeared at how strange the boy was acting “Oh, what is it?” he asked.

Hitsugaya looked up at him then walked to his desk. He lifted himself up on top of it and sat next to Ukitake. He pulled out the envelope and looked at it. “Well… I got this letter last night before I went to bed and it’s confusing me. I couldn’t get it off my mind all day and it’s just… I know it’s a love letter but it’s sad and I don’t know who it’s from. Here, listen.” He opened it and pulled out the piece of paper. He read aloud the poem to the older man. Once he was finished, Hitsugaya looked up at him.

Ukitake put his finger tip to his lips “Oh my… that is a very sad love poem. And you don’t know who gave it to you?” he asked.

Hitsugaya shook his head “All I have is this feather,” he pulled out the feather. “Oh! And I remember that someone whispered the words ‘I love you’ to me then there were the touch of lips on my forehead and something wet on my cheek.”

“Aw… I would say it a secret admirer but… if this person says that he or she is going to die soon so… I don’t know. Um… oh! It could be a message!” Ukitake said as he smiled.

Hitsugaya looked at him “What?”

Ukitake nodded “Once, Shunsui wrote me several poems and that the ends of it, there was a sentence that just didn’t seem to fit there. But once he gave me all the poems he wrote, I put them together and it said that he would always be with me forever, no matter what. So maybe that’s what that poem is about!” he told him.

“Really?” Hitsugaya looked back down at the letter and looked at the last couple words. Ukitake looked over his shoulder and pointed the last two words. “See, it’s your name. So maybe you’ll get another one that will tell you more about what the person that loves you really wants to say.” He smiled at him.

Hitsugaya looked up at him then back at the letter “Yeah, maybe…” then he shook his head and put the letter back in the envelope then put it back in his top. He crossed his arms “N-Not that I care what anyone has to say to me!” he said.

Ukitake chuckled “Of course not.” He patted him on the head.
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Ichimaru sat in his office with his feet up on the desk. He leaned back in his chair, making it stand only on two legs and he started holding a piece of paper. “A set of letters might make his smile. I know that I shouldn’t be so sad about this. This isn’t like me and everyone will notice. I should go back to my happy smiling self. But… how can I smile when I know that I made Toshirou mad? I bet he hates me even more now… I know I never really talked to him but still… Maybe if I say I’m sorry then… then I wouldn’t have to hide from him.” he thought as he finished followed the paper. He held it and looked at it.

“A heart…” he said as he looked at the heart shaped paper. “Now how did that happened? I was going for a dove… mmm…” he set the little white heart down on the desk and crossed his arms.
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Hitsugaya sighed and crossed his arms as he walked down the wooden side walk just outside his division. He glanced up at the sun set and stopped to look at it. “Geez, where did the day go?” he asked.

Ichimaru peeked around the corner at the boy and took a deep breath then walked around from the corner toward the boy. “Toshirou!” he called down the hall.

Hitsugaya turned around slightly and looked at him. Ichimaru’s breath got caught in his throat when he saw how cute the boy looked in the orange and red light of the sun set, but he controlled himself. When he got to him, he stopped and looked down at him. “I uh…” he started.

Hitsugaya looked up at him “What is it Ichimaru-Taichou?” he asked dully.

“I just came to say uh… that I…” he started as he stretched the back of his head.

“What is it Ichimaru-Taichou, I’m busy right now and I have to get back to my office.” Hitsugaya told him.

“W-wait. Just give me a minute ok?” Ichimaru said.

Hitsugaya’s eyes widened slightly “He’s acting strange again… what is with him?” he thought.

“Toshirou, I…” Ichimaru started again.

Hitsugaya’s face softened slightly and he uncrossed his arms “Gin…”

Shock played a bit on Ichimaru’s face now. Had he heard right? Did Hitsugaya just call him Gin? Ichimaru’s heart fluttered he opened his mouth to say that he was sorry when Momo appeared behind him with a large plate of watermelon. But when she landed, she tripped and fell. Ichimaru turned around only to be hit with the fruit. He jumped then glared at the girl “You son of a bitch!!” he shouted as he took out his sword and pointed it at her. He opened his eyes.

Momo’s eyes widened and she started to shake in fare.

“I should cut yo head clear off yo shoulder!!” he shouted at her.

Hitsugaya quickly snapped out of his trance and his eyes widened. He glared at Ichimaru and quickly drew his Zanpakutou. He jumped in between Ichimaru and Momo and blocked Shinso. “Ichimaru, what the hell is wrong with you!? Do you really just pick on people for the fun of it!? You sick bastard… I hate you!! I hate you with all of my being!! You’re nothing but a monster and a killer!!! I never want to see your damn face again!! I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!! Just leave me and Momo alone!!!”

Ichimaru’s eyes widened then he quickly closed them. His sword lowered and his face soften “T-Toshirou… No wait! That’s not why I came!! I came to tell you that I’m-…”

“I don’t care!! I don’t want to hear you’re stupid excuses!! You’re nothing more than a bastard, a monster, a killer!!!” Hitsugaya shouted. “That’s all you are, and that’s all you will ever be!!”

Momo stared at Hitsugaya with widen eyes “Shiro-chan…” then she looked at Ichimaru. She gasped slightly when she saw tears starting to form in his eyes. She stood up and grabbed Hitsugaya’s shoulder “Shiro-chan stop it!! Stop it right now!!” she shouted.

But it was too late. Ichimaru’s heart had been crash and stepped on many times over. He squeezed his eyes shut and put his head down so that the other two could not see his eyes. “T-Toshirou… I’m-…”

“Damn it Ichimaru!! I told you to shut up!! I told you to go away!! LEAVE ME ALONE!! I hate you!! God!!” Hitsugaya shouted at him.

Ichimaru clenched his teeth together as he started to cry. Then he quickly turned around and started to run away.

Hitsugaya put his sword down “That’s right Ichimaru!! Run away!! Run away you bastard!!” he shouted. Then he put his sword away and crosses his arms. “Hmpf! Are you al-..” he started but when he turned around, Momo slapped him clean across the face. Hitsugaya’s face whipped to the side and his eyes widened. Then he put his hand on his cheek and looked at Momo.

Momo glared at him “Hitsugaya you’re one sick person aren’t you?!” she shouted. “I can’t believe you…” and with that, she turned around and walked away.

Hitsugaya stood there shocked and confused then looked down.
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Ichimaru appeared in the 4th division and thru Unohana’s office door open.

The nurse jumped and looked at the door “Ichimaru, what are you-?” then she stopped when she saw the tears and the sadness on his face. “G-Gin… what’s the matter?” she asked as she stood up and walked to the man.

Ichimaru tightened his hands into fists and squeezed his eyes shut. “I screwed up again Unohana-san…” he said. “I tried to say I was sorry… b-but I just messed it up even more then I already did!!” he fell to his knees and put his head down.

Unohana closed the door then knelt down and hugged Ichimaru. “Aw honey…” Ichimaru hugged her back tight and cried into her shoulder. “Sh… sh… just calm down… can you tell me what happened?” she asked as she gently rubbed his back.

“I-I went tell Toshirou that I-I was sorry for before but when I did, I screwed it up!! Momo came and she tripped and watermelon fell all over me and I threatened her!! Then Toshirou jumped in between us and called me a bastard, a kill and a monster!! Noting more!!” he told her.

Unohana’s eyes widened slightly “He said that? Well that’s just terrible! He had no right to call you all those bad things.” She pulled away and looked at Ichimaru. She wiped away the tears on his face and smiled at him. “Gin listen to me. You are nothing like those things. You are a wonderful man and Toshirou is just young. He’s still short tempered and probably doesn’t know how harsh those words are.” Then she thought and smirked a bit “Just keep writing those letters and maybe those will make him smile.”

Ichimaru looked at her with a bi of shock “How did ya know it was me that wrote Toshirou that letter?” he asked.

“Only you could make something so sweet yet still get the point across that you loved him. Toshirou came and asked me if I knew who wrote the letter but when I saw that there was no name to tell who it came from, I thought of you. So I told him I didn’t know.” she told him with a smiled.

Ichimaru smiled a bit too “Thank ya. I don’t want him to know it was me just yet.”

Unohana nodded “No problem sweetie.”
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Hitsugaya sat in his bedroom with the window open, letting the moon light and the cool breeze dance into his room. He hugged his knees and put his chin on the top of them. “Today was very strange…” he said to himself. Then he took out the letter again and read it over once more. “If it’s like what Ukitake said, then the beginning of the sentence would be ‘Toshirou Hitsugaya’.”

Then something floated thru the window and landed on the floor in the middle of the room. Hitsugaya looked at it and sent the piece of paper down. He walked to it and picked it up. It was another shiny envelope! Hitsugaya’s eyes widened and he opened it. He pulled out the letter and read aloud:

“Forgetting that such a young soul cannot understand what older ones have gone thru.

Though they are the different, there is something much more alike in between them.

They love.

They love whomever their hearts cling to.

Remember that bird Toshirou? Can you guess what happened to it?

It was such a young soul yet it loved, just like every other thing.

Oh how it tried and tried again to make things right.

But it just made things worse…

Its heart bleeds more and its soul if fading…

Now that it has done what it thought was never possible, it does not know what to do.

It does not want to live any more. For it has nothing to live for.

Its heart has been broken and stepped on many times over, though it does not know why.

This bird does not know what to do. This bird loves you with all of its heart but… it seems that that love will not be returned by you.

If this bird cannot make things right,

I will die for you.”

Hitsugaya’s eyes widened as he scanned the last sentence to make sure that he had read it right. He repeated the words “I will die for you…” he looked back at his bed and grabbed the other letter. He set them side by side and looked at the last sentences “Toshirou Hitsugaya, I will die for you…” he read. “Oh my gosh… what have I done?” he sat back and looked out the window “I have hurt this person to the point where he or she will kill themselves for me… But…” he looked back down at the letters. “This is getting bad…”

He then tilted his head slightly when he saw something else on the new letter. He gently ran his finger tips over a dark spot of the paper and it smudged. His eyes widened slightly and he looked at it on his fingers. Once he put it in the moon light, he saw that it was blood. “B-blood!” he whispered as his eyes widened more. Then he looked back at the letter and picked it up.

“This poem talked about how that bird tried to make things right and it couldn’t. Then it says that its heart is bleeding so…” he looked at the blood on his fingers “It matches… just like the other…”
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Ichimaru walking around the Seireitei with his head down “I bet he’s just throwing them away… Why would he keep such stupid letters? All they are are words… he probably thinks they’re empty words… nothing more than a prank…” he sniffled a bit then looked out at a grassy plan. He tilted his head slightly when he saw a little flower in the middle of it.

“What the…?” he said quietly. He started working to it and knelt down. He watched it closely as it gently swayed in the breeze. It was a white rose, but a bit bigger then a normal one. He watched it for a while then smiled. He gently scoped up the flower and some of the dirt that was under it. He held it up “It’s so pretty… though it has thrones, it still is very delicate and graceful… just like… Toshirou…” he whispered the name and his smile slowly disappeared only to be replaced by a small frown.

“Toshirou…”
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Hitsugaya sat on the couch in his office with his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. the two letters layed before him on the coffee table. He sighed “Oh my God… how the hell did I get into such a dramatic hell hole?” he rubbed his face slightly then held his chin in his hands. He looked at the letters “This doesn’t make sense. I haven’t hurt anyone.”

He ran his finger over the letters of the first letter then the second one and his eyes widened slightly “The hand writing on the second letter is deeper. That means that when this one was written, this person was in a lot of pain…”

He put his hands on his head and threw it back. His groaned loudly then layed down on the couch. He hid his face in pillow and wrapped his arms around it. “This really sucks…” he mumbled.

Then the doors opened and Momo looked around inside. She smiled when she saw Hitsugaya and she walked inside. “Shiro-chan, I need to talk to you.” she told him as she walked to the couch and put her hands behind her back.

“Not now Momo, I’m kinda stressed out right now.” Hitsugaya told her. His voice was muffled a bit by the pillow as well.

“But Shiro-chan!” she whined.

Hitsugaya lifts his head just a bit to glare at her with one eye “It’s Hitsugaya-Taichou.” he told her for the fiftieth time.

She jumped a bit then looked down at the letters on the table “Oh, what are these?” she asked as she leaned down to pick them up, but Hitsugaya was faster. He quickly grabbed the letters from under neither her hands and glared at her slightly “None of your business.” He said as he held them close to his chest.

She stared at him with wide eyes “Shiro-chan what’s the matter? Why are you all mad at me? Did I do something wrong? Oh… was it about that one time I accidently thru watermelon all over Ichimaru-Taichou?” she asked “Because I didn’t mean to I swear! I lost my footing when I landed and the tray just slipped out of my hands!”

Hitsugaya sighed then put the letters back in their envelopes “No Momo I’m not mad at you. Like I said before, I’m just a bit stressed out.”

Momo put her hands back behind her back “Oh, about what?”

He looked at her “Nothing that you should worry about.”

She crossed her arms and pouted “But that’s what you always say!!”

Hitsugaya groaned slightly then stood up “I have to go now. I’ll be back later.” He told her then Shunpo’d out of the room, leaving Momo confused.
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Ichimaru layed in a field of beautiful vivid flower with his hands behind his head and his head tiled to the side a bit. He took a deep breath then sighed as the sun started to go down.

“One more…” he thought “One more letter must be sent to complete the message… That very deep and loving message… Let’s see… ‘Toshirou Hitsugaya, I will die for you… tonight…’ That seems good. Not like he would care though. He’ll probably thru it away as soon as it hits the floor of his room… But at least this is a bit satisfying… Hopefully once I’m gone, he would have any more problems, and he’ll life a very long and happy life. As long as he’s happy, I am too.”
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Hitsugaya walked down the side of his division, deep in thought and not really paying attention as to where he was going.

“Now let’s see…” he started, “It has to be a captain because no other person would be able to my private quarts after hours. Ukitake-Taichou and Kyoraku-Taichou are together, so that rules them out, Soi Fon likes Yoruichi and Yoruichi likes her so that rules them out too…”

He stopped as his eyes widened then he shuttered and continued walking “God, please don’t let it be the Captain Commander! Aizen never shows interest in me so it’s not him, Unohana… no way! Tousen… no, Komamaru… no, Mayuri… Oh God no! Please no! Then there’s Byakuya but I heard he liked his fukutaichou so that’s out too. So… who’s left that I haven’t thought of?!”

He stopped dead in his tracks as his eyes widened. The only captain that would come to visit him besides every day, even if it was storming hell outside, the only captain that would give him his jacket if he was cold, the only captain that would wait until Hitsugaya left the room first before he did himself.

Hitsugaya’s head whipped towards the mountains that now showed no sign that the sun was there anymore then it whipped South.

“Gin!!” the boy shouted and ran his fastest to the 3rd division.
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“I love ya…” Ichimaru said aloud as he finished up his last letter and put a little heart down in the right-hand corner then smiled with watery eyes.

“That should do it…” he told himself as he held up the letter to take a good look at it. Then he grabbed an envelope and stuck the letter inside after folding it neatly. He then picked up a small yellow smiling sticker and put it on the lid to seal it shut.

“I guess… it’s time to deliver this lil guy…” he said quietly as tears rolled down his pale cheeks and dripped on the light blue envelope. “I’m sorry that I… couldn’ make ya happy… Toshirou… Hitsugaya…” he whispered then whipped away the tears with his sleeve and stood up.
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Hitsugaya rushed down the halls, throwing open doors and screaming the other’s first name.

“Gin!! Gin!! Where are you!? Gin!!” he screamed at the top of his lungs but he couldn’t find the other. He stopped at the top of the stairs and leaned over to put his hands on his knees as he panted.

“He’s not in his room or in his office… or in his division for that matter! Where the hell could he be!?” he looked around then a flash back hit him of when he saw Ichimaru smiling happily as he sat in a large field of beautiful flowers. His eyes widened “That’s it!!” he quickly ran down the stairs and to his left.

“Oh please don’t let me be too late!” he thought to himself.

He then quickly turned a sharp corner and arrived at the field. He scanned over it careful until something bright caught his eye. They snapped to a large tree where he saw the 3rd captain leaned up against and he had his sword in one hand. The boy couldn’t see the other’s eyes but he could see small tear drops fall from the other male’s cheeks which would catch the moonlight perfect like a bright white glow. Hitsugaya’s eyes widened when he saw the other slowly raise his dagger to under his chin.

“He’s going to…” the boy whispered but then he bolted into the field. “Gin!!” he screamed “Gin stop!! Don’t do it!!”

This caught Ichimaru’s attention and he looked up only for the boy to lung at him and wrap his arms around him. This caused the older man to back over into the flowers and for his sword to fly far out of reach.

The older captain laid there for a long moment, just staring at the boy’s back move up and quickly, telling him that he was crying.

“T-Toshirou…?” he said finally after a long moment of shock.

“Please Gin… don’t go! Don’t die! I take back all the things that I said to you that were hurtful, I take back all the things that I might have done that could have made you feeling like shit! Just please, don’t leave me Gin! Please… don’t die…” Hitsugaya pled as he wrapped his arms tighter around the other and burry his face into the now damper clothes on Ichimaru’s chest. “I… I need you Gin… I’ve noticed that there wasn’t one day that went by until a couple of weeks ago that I didn’t see your smile… and when you smiled, I would catch myself smiling too… So promise me…” he looked up with very sad eyes and watery eyes, “Promise me you would go!”

Ichimaru stared at the other with his eyes open this time. Never had he thought that there was so much emotion knocked up inside that tiny body of the 10th division. But then he smiled and closed his eyes again. Gently, he took the boy in his arms and slowly flipped him so that he would lay in the flowers. He gently whipped away the tears of sorrow from the other’s cheeks with the back of his hand.

“Toshirou, I’m sorry I caused chya so much pain and confusion but it just seemed like that chya hated me so I thought ta make ya happy, I would leave forever but now I see that I was wrong…” he opened his eyes again and looked deep into Hitsugaya’s eyes. “Will ya forgive me?” he asked quietly.

Hitsugaya laid there for a moment then slowly reached up and put his hands on the other’s cheeks. Gently, he pulled Ichimaru’s face down and placed his lips on his as he closed his eyes

This shocked Ichimaru but then he smiled and kissed him back as he too closed his eyes. He then felt the younger one’s fingers work their way behind his neck and his arms wrapped around it, pulling him closer.

After a long moment that seemed to never end, Hitsugaya pulled away just a tiny bit “I forgive you…” he whispered against the other’s lips, still having his eyes closed.

Ichimaru smiled “I’m glad…” he whispered back then put his lips back on the other’s.